50 Dad Jokes So Bad, You Don’t Know Whether To Laugh Or Cry

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Here’s a list of the best Dad Jokes we’ve heard. Don’t say we never say, some of these Dad Jokes might really make you want to vomit blood!

  1. Do you know why the palm tree got struck by the lightning? Well, it suay-ed.
Palm Tree
(giphy.com)

2. Do you know why the mantou did not cry when his mother died? Well, the mantou has no filling.

Mantou
(giphy.com)
  1. I told my dad that my leg is very suan (Chinese for sore). My dad replied, “You stepped on lemon is it?”
Lemon
(giphy.com)
  1. How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles.
Octopus
(giphy.com)
  1. How many letters are you familiar with in the English Language? I’m only familiar with 25, I don’t know WHY.
Hahaha
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know what prisoners use to call each other? CELL phones.
Cell Phone
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know why the bike could not stand up by itself? Well, it was two-tyred.
Laugh
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know why the vampire didn’t attack Taylor Swift? Well, she had bad blood.
Taylor Swift
(giphy.com)
  1. What is your blood type? Red.
Evil laugh
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know what you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? A frostbite!
Olaf
(giphy.com)
  1. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idea.
Deer
(giphy.com)
  1. So, can February March? Nope! But, April May!
Baby
(giphy.com)
  1. Why wasn’t the lady happy with the velcro she bought? It was a total rip off.
Emma Watson
(giphy.com)
  1. What did the buffalo say to his son when he dropped him off at school? Bi-son!
Buffalo
(giphy.com)
  1. What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Well, no-body knows!
Shrugging
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know why a crab or lobster will never share? Well, they’re both SHELLFISH.
Shellfish
(giphy.com)
  1. Guess what time did the man visit the dentist? He went at Tooth Hurt-y.
Dentist
(giphy.com)
  1. Why should you read this book about anti-gravity? Well, it is really impossible to put down!
Haha
(giphy.com)
  1. Did you know the first French Fries were not cooked in France? They were actually cooked in Greece!
Haha
(giphy.com)
  1. I will not tell you the joke about the piece of paper. It was tearable.
Haha, good one!
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know what you become if you witness a robbery at an Apple Store? You become an iWitness.
Donald Duck
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know why the invisible man turned down the job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it!
Invisible Man
(giphy.com)
  1. I used to hold a job at a calendar factory. But, I got fired because I took a couple of days off!
Spongebob
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know how you can make holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
Laughing Dog
(giphy.com)
  1. I asked my dad if he was alright. He answered, “Nope, I’m half left.”
Roll Eyes
(giphy.com)
  1. My mum asked, “How do I look?” Dad answered, “With your eyes.”
Baby Roll Eye
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know what the horse said after it tripped? Help! I can’t giddy-up!
Horse
(giphy.com)
  1. You know what they always say, don’t trust atoms. They make up everything!
Big Bang Theory
(giphy.com)
  1. Have you heard of the restaurant on the moon? There was great food, but no atmosphere.
Outerspace
(giphy.com)
  1. What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.
Laughing
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know how a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
Wrestler
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know why the scarecrow won the award? Well, it was outstanding in his field.
Finding Nemo Shark
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know why skeletons can never go trick or treating? Well, they have no-body to go with!
Pikachiu
(giphy.com)
  1. I told my dad I’ll call him later. He replied, “Don’t call me later. Call me dad.”
Apes
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you want to hear a joke about construction? Not really. Well, I’m still working on it.
Laughing Woman
(giphy.com)
  1. What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? Na-cho cheese!
Laughing man
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know what the grape did when he got stepped on? He let out a little wine.
Laughing Woman
(giphy.com)
  1. My dad told me to avoid this sushi. It was a little fishy.
Peter Pan
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know why you will never see elephants hiding in the trees? Reason being, they’re too good at it!
Dumbo
(giphy.com)
  1. Do you know why bananas need sunscreen? Well, they PEEL all the time!
Banana
(giphy.com)
  1. What do you call a fish that is made of only 2 atoms? A 2-Na (Tuna).
Tuna
(giphy.com)
  1. My dad always told me he never trust stairs. They’re always up to something.
Staircase Simpsons
(giphy.com)
  1. Did you hear the rumour going around about the butter? Nah, I shouldn’t spread it.
Butter
(giphy.com)
  1. What does our house wear? A-dress.
Reaction
(giphy.com)
  1. My wife told me I’m only average. I told her she’s mean.
Laughing Out Loud
(giphy.com)
  1. My dad just had seafood last night and now he’s eel.
A-ha!
(giphy.com)
  1. Why wasn’t I hurt when I got hit in the head by a can of Coke? Well, it was a soft drink.
Laughing People
(giphy.com)
  1. Why did the man name his dogs “Timex” and “Rolex”? Well, they were watchdogs!
Corgi
(giphy.com)
  1. My dad told me he was addicted to the hokey pokey. Thankfully, he managed to turn himself around.
Laughing Woman
(giphy.com)
  1. You should sell your vacuum cleaner. It is just gathering dust.
Spongebob
(giphy.com)

What other dad jokes have you heard of? Share your best dad jokes with us in the comments below!

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